Ugg Boots for the 32-year-old woman?

It’s bad enough that I know I’m 32, but now you know too and are just throwing it in my face! All in the name of some sort of commerce?! Tacky.

I’m wondering if you can explain how my being 32 connects me to your product? I would think the fact that I’m 32 would automatically remove me from your horribly built list. I’m soooo over you. I thought you were kind of cool 8 years ago, but times have changed. I’ve moved on. My daughter likes you now; somehow, you don’t make her feet feel claustrophobic and sweaty like you do mine. Also, I’m a strong believer that moms’ and daughters’ fashion should not overlap, which means you’re now going against the grain of my good upbringing.

And let’s not forget your terrible use of a call to action. I saw this exact same offer yesterday and the day before that. Perhaps you live in an alternate universe where time means completely different things, but here on earth, within the hallowed halls of Facebook, 3 minutes means exactly 180 seconds. Otherwise, I’d still be 19 years old, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation!

I won’t belabor this, but simply put, your advertising has elicited the opposite reaction of what it intends. Targeting done right is great. This, done poorly to the point of pathetic, is counterproductive at best and offensive at worst.

A blog would be a logical place to find information on new styles, trends, and up to date information on shoes. Perhaps you are doing research, looking for a contact, or simply trying to add some reading material to your blog reader.

So how does Google blog search stack up in finding authoritative blogs? Not so good. Apparently, it doesn’t quite know how to define a blog, as the example below shoes shows. Journeys, Converse, and all of the others simply aren’t blogs. 

Google Blog Search Results for Shoes

This is a particularly bad example, but I’ve tried a variety of searches in the past and often gotten poor results. For now, Technorati may still be the best blog search.

With the push for real-time search integration, it will be interesting to see how well search engines do with identifying real-time sources, like Twitter. Considering the length of time blogs have been around, it may be a while before we see great results.

Google actually launched a site at this URL. On this site, you could perform searches and get a glimpse into the world of the search results from the Caffeine algorithm. As we investigated the ranking results in Caffeine, we noticed the top 10 rankings were undergoing daily fluctuations, for brand and non-brand search terms and phrases. Overall it was very unpredictable. There were times when the rankings for one keyword would change throughout the day. One thing we could all agree on: Google was presenting results more quickly. Google must have decided that users wanted results more quickly.

Google updated the Caffeine algorithm every day. With the rise of real-time search (i.e. Twitter and Facebook updates), as well as the continued explosion of image search and video search, we were expecting to see a lot of new results in the top 10 rankings for any given keyword or phrase. In fact, many SEOs are guessing that this new algorithm will affect the core nature of how URLs are ranked via links and PageRank. Caffeine was also a way for Google to test the placement of news, images, videos, shopping results, etc… in a new layout for universal search results. You can see a lot of that today already. There’s more images, videos and news items in the top 10 results. It appears that Caffeine will bring about even more changes in the layout for universal search.

Today, Google took down the Caffeine sandbox::

We appreciate all the feedback from people who searched on our Caffeine sandbox.
Based on the success we’ve seen, we believe Caffeine is ready for a larger audience. Soon we will activate Caffeine more widely, beginning with one data center. This sandbox is no longer necessary and has been retired, but we appreciate the testing and positive input that webmasters and publishers have given.

Matt Cutts, Google’s chief spam cop and all-around spokesperson for all things search, followed up on his blog with this:

I know that webmasters can get anxious around this time of year, so I wanted to reassure site owners that the full Caffeine roll out will happen after the holidays. Caffeine will go live at one data center so that we can continue to collect data and improve the technology, but I don’t expect Caffeine to go live at additional data centers until after the holidays are over. Most searchers wouldn’t immediately notice any changes with Caffeine, but going slowly not only gives us time to collect feedback and improve, but will also minimize the stress on webmasters during the holidays.

One thing to note is that the algorithm change will not be launched until after the holidays. We believe the new algorithm will have an impact for our clients, but it is virtually impossible to know what those changes might be, especially now that they have taken down the Caffeine sandbox. They will have 2-3 more months to update Caffeine even further before it launches, so it would be pure conjecture to predict the ways it may or may not affect the rankings for our clients. However, we do believe that Google will still continue to lead the search engine world in rewarding solid SEO strategies while providing the most relevant results.

In the end, the search results page layouts and keyword rankings will change. But that should be no surprise. Google launches major algorithm updates 2-3 times per year, and they do not typically publicize it. That is precisely why SEOs are taking note of Caffeine. In my opinion, Caffeine is a call-to-action for all search marketers to expand SEO campaigns to encompass images, videos, press releases, news, shopping, books, related searches, social accounts, etc… Google has shown us that they are presenting more and more of those items in the top results. The need for a solid, aggressive SEO strategy is indisputable, simply because the competition for homepage real estate has increased with the introduction of the universal search elements mentioned above.

SEO can no longer remain in the background of your search marketing campaigns. SEO cannot be paused. SEO cannot be offset by bigger PPC budgets. In the long run, you can’t afford to ignore social media, mobile search, image search optimization and asset management. Heaven forbid, you may even need to get a Twitter account. You must embrace all aspects of SEO. Or you will be defeated in the SERPs.

Google has thrown down the gauntlet. When Caffeine goes live, your rankings may not fluctuate very much in the short term. I mean, c’mon. You’ve got a huge brand name, and your website has tons of inbound links. You are a PR6! Well, don’t get too comfortable. You may not be able to simply rest on title tags, meta tags, inbound links and PageRank. With the increased competition, it is getting tougher to rank in the top 10. And the big question is: What are you going to do about it?

1. comScore has now decided to charge for its State of the Union findings. If you’re not familiar with these, they are webinars hosted by co-founder Gian Fulgoni which walk you through the previous quarter. You glean such things as, ‘people are scared’ or ‘rich people aren’t spending as much’ or ‘people really like coupons now’ or ‘lower income brackets are concerned about their jobs’. You also get some really great insights into how eCommerce is tracking against the rest of the economy. Really the gist is people are poor and scared. So good call comScore! Twist the knife a little will with a $199 ticket for an hour of your smooth jazz.
2. My cell phone provider AT&T just called me and asked if they could lower my bill. Um, yeah, sure. Wait. WHAT? Turns out the texting tween got a little carried away and $90 dollars later I have a new best friend who moonlights as a customer service rep. Good job AT&T! Consider me a loyal customer until I forget about the kind gesture in approximately two months.
3. Speaking of AT&T my office mate suggested they start offering a ‘Buy Back Blackberry’ program so that us late adopters could get on this dang app bandwagon. Then they could garner additional goodwill by creating a secondary program to give away the unloved BlackBerry’s and entitle this one, punnily enough, as ‘Handouts for the Phoneless.

This Wednesday I hereby declare AT&T the winner of my own personal thoughts.

One of the most exciting aspects of BING, at least for me, was the travel engine platform. The way Microsoft made it sound, advertisers were going to have tons of opportunities to expand sales to the Microsoft travel audience. What we have found in our initial foray is a bit different, though. While it’s true that several of our travel advertisers have seen decent gains within Microsoft search, the more cutting-edge prospects within the travel engine have been tied up by big sponsorship deals among OTAs and larger brand advertisers. Now, I’m certainly not condemning these preliminary sponsorship deals, but I look forward to the day when the spaces open up to the rest of us regular guys who do not possess multi-million dollar sponsorship budgets.

Specifically, I would like to see MSN take a more comprehensive approach to detailing its products to advertisers, rather than relying on potential customers to seek out this information. The entire BING travel space could be revolutionary in a few years, and if they’re going to take on Google, they’re going to have to be more proactive about the specifics. How do I take advantage of the new features…tell me please!

The first question that we got when word of this first came out – much like at the time of the launch of Wolfram Alpha, Cuil and every other media-dubbed Next Big Thing – was ‘how does this change my SEO?’. And it’s a fair question – MSN added new functions and are clearly testing others, and there had been talk of integrating behavioral information into results so that if you looked for ‘fish’ it would know whether you were looking for a restaurant or a rod and reel. Google sneezes and everyone’s rankings change, so what happens when it’s changing – dun dun DUUUUUH – names?

The answer to what Bing will change about how you approach SEO – much like most every other great leap forward in organic search – is nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

No matter what changes are brought to bear by Google, Yahoo and the rest of the bunch, SEO at its core is about three things: Is your content readable, are you pursuing the right keywords and are engines getting maximum value from your site – and until your content doesn’t matter anymore, your SEO strategy should be the same.

That’s not to say that search engines won’t expand their ability to read content, that new keyword sets won’t become important and that there won’t be new ways to put your site’s best foot forward. On this last point, there have been a lot of new opportunities created by Bing and especially by Google to improve both your search positioning and the way that your results appear in search engines. A good SEO team should be working with you on things like applying microformats to your pages and other new opportunities that have arisen with the engines’ newest toys.

Still, these opportunities won’t matter much if engines can’t see your site in the first place, or if you’re trying to sell shoes from a page without the word ‘shoes’ on it. These issues will make up the vast majority of how well you appear in search engines, and have been since the days when dinosaur’s roamed the earth and Google was a twinkle in Larry Page’s eye.

In essence, if you want to be ready for the next big Bing, make sure you’re ready for MSN first and see if that doesn’t take care of most of it.

My gifts are weird and cheap, so in a recession, my Father’s Day purchasing power is still pretty strong, for all intents and purposes. But for those who buy NICE gifts, how does Dad fair during a recession? I mean, he already gets the short end of the stick, especially when compared to Mom. She get’s flowers and jewelry, candy and homemade cards. Mom gets thought, and dear old dad gets a bunch of Armor All.

The NRF recently produced a study for Fathers Day spending and giving us a preview of what to expect. Now put down the As Seen on TV “Grabit Screw Extractor” and pay attention, this is where things get interesting.

According to the study, a mere 17.9% will be shopping online for a gift. Where is everyone else? What are they doing? Shopping offline, of course. For the sake of fathers everywhere, I hope these people are better at it then I am. Catalogs and department stores look to fare well during the season, but online retailers should have no fear. This online group of shoppers is looking to spend upwards of $130 online, which is roughly 50% more than their offline only counterparts. 50% more! That’s a tremendous difference!

Prepare the inventory kids, the shoppers are coming. I know all of the RANGE clients have high hopes on each impending holiday, and Fathers Day will be no less. Treat dad to something cool this year, you know – like an ionic air purifier, for the car.

Apparently, the idea behind Bing is that it should convey to the user the sound that is made when a light bulb goes off in one’s head, like what happens when Wile E. Coyote gets a great idea or when you solve a Rubik’s cube. My colleagues and I chatted about this at length, and we determined that Bing is not the sound that at all goes off in our heads at the point of enlightenment.

For me the sound is an obvious ‘ting’ with some vibrato to it. For my good friend Brian, who tends to be more left brained, the sound is much more course and sharp. We did our best to find it but the closest we could find was ‘e-spark2’. Ding also seemed to be a very popular reponse. Eureka, gasp, AH!….on and on and on. This other guy thought it sounded like the bell on the counter of a cheap motel.

Later, I brought the discussion to the car. Since my daughter and spend a lot of time in the vehicle, and there is usually a lot of empty air to fill, I asked her what she thought about Bing. She’s never been much for short and sweet so her answer didn’t surprise me in the least. A very animated, “wait, wait, I got it, I know this one.” To be honest we both concurred that might be a little long and cumbersome to remember at the keyboard.

Whatever the sound, we’ll see if MSN’s new search is worth me switching from Googling to Binging anytime soon.

Anyway, along the path to our destruction by merciless cyborgs are some new online technologies from Microsoft and Google that are kind of creepy and ominous, but I actually think they’re pretty cool.

Microsoft/Experian Custom Database Targeting: While an invention from Microsoft and one of the big-three credit information companies might sound as if it were designed by Satan himself, it’s not quite as evil as you think. This tech allows us to identify potential customers with Windows Live Passport IDs for targeted campaigns on the Microsoft Media Network. The data is then matched and segmented by Experian data hounds and parsed back out as “anonymous” records to the Microsoft Media Network. Benefits include the capacity to target offline consumer online, site cookies aren’t needed for remessaging and you will be able to use “look-alike” segmentation to reach new customers according to the purchase path data of your existing customer base.

• Why it’s creepy: Do you want the same entity that reports on your credit keeping track of your consumer interests?
• Why it’s cool: You’ll be the first adopter. This particular engagement tool is somewhat pricey (a $150k minimum), but geez, the customer insight is staggering. Like the results of a comScore study, this tool will provide advertisers with highly competitive user feedback and market segmentation.

Google Behavioral Search Targeting:Not only will Google allow users to read their browsing history, but they will have fully launched their “interest-based advertising” concept which involves targeting around interest categories and exchanges with specific customers. This one is a little eerie, since its search interest listings appearing in sponsored search rankings can potentially creep you out. If you’ve been recently served a Cholula hot sauce ad during a seemingly-unrelated image search for “Gary Busey Mug Shot,” this is why. What do the two have to do with each other? You tell me. It’s obviously a secret between you and Google.

• Why it’s creepy: Google can apparently read your thoughts based upon what appear to be mutually exclusive searches. It’s unnerving because they have enough brain power and cash to dig even deeper. Where will consumers draw the line?
• Why it’s cool: As a search marketer, I have mixed feelings about “interest-based search,” since it eliminates an area of relevance (based on quality score). However, the insight gained from interest categories in Google’s network syndication has made big advances in the way we think about messaging to the consumer in search. And if it’s as intuitive as Google claims, the potential rapport to be established with a consumers is invaluable.

Dynamic Ad Targeting: Some vendors such as ChoiceStream have taken targeting to a new level. Instead of merely capturing user category behavior, advertisers have begun using targeted methodologies based upon decisions consumers make along their individual purchase paths. In other words, it’s a whole new level of granularity. Marketers will have better foresight into a consumer group’s affinity for a given brand.

• Why it’s creepy: It’s similar to the Google product described above. It’s probably terrifying to paranoid conspiracy theorists, but then again, those people probably don’t even use computers anymore.
• Why it’s cool: This level of targeting allows marketers the ability to create thousands of personalized ad scenarios on the fly.

Friend Finder: Here’s another application from Google, designed to give users in 27 countries across 42 languages the ability to find each other via mobile device. The tool will help you send SMS, IMs or even call another user (calling someone with a mobile phone? That sounds crazy!). Like with their map product, Google uses a web service based on geo-location. MyLocation mixes GPS and any Wi-Fi enabled phone (including Cell-ID).

• Why it’s creepy: It’s another possibility for user-backlash, since it’s one more invasion of privacy. We’re already connected by landline, internet, email, cell phone, etc. At some point, users will want some time alone. What’s worse, it’s sort of like having a marketing guy eavesdrop on your conversations.
• Why it’s cool: It’s sort of like having a marketing guy eavesdrop on your conversations. Imagine having the ability to contextually target a conversation between two people arguing over where to meet for lunch when your client is an advertiser such as Chili’s.

I don’t know that increasingly personal marketing tools will precipiate the end of humanity, but if marketers can get on board with a couple of these things, the online economy will bounce back with a vengeance.

Hasta la vista, baby.

I suppose negative news is easier to sensationalize than positive news and we all know that sensationalism sells, especially in the news industry.

With all the bad news out there, we are entering a time when we all craving good news – a time when we all need a little positive news in our lives. We are entering what I like to call the “Infomercial Times” – a time when we are all willing to buy that ShamWow or Silver Bullet just because we all truly want something that works as well as the pitch man says it does and because we can get it at such a great price. We just need something positive to grab on to, which means it’s a salesman’s dream.

The same thing is starting to happen in the world of online. As marketers are forced to cut budgets and are continuing to see revenues dip, they are looking earnestly for a definite bright side. Enter a well-timed salesman with a shiny tool that fixes everything, or a vendor with a “can’t miss offer” and you end up with some poor decisions that produces a short term positive impact but long term damage to your brand and business model.

As we all do our best to fight the doom and gloom that seems to fill our days, please don’t fall victim to the infomercial pitchmen. There are no magical solutions, no guarantees and absolutely no short term fixes to solve all your problems. A ShamWow is still just a glorified towel. Snuggies are basically a blanket for suckers. Deal with the negativity just a bit longer, because when it passes, we can all celebrate the raises we got for not making stupid, rash decisions when times were tough.